What type of popular are you?
Did you know there are two types of popularity?
The most dominant in society today is your status rating. The least common but childhood form of popularity is likeability. No prizes for guessing which one is best for your mental health. Everyone knows that the popular children are those who lead quietly, help others and cooperate.
There are four qualities in you that influence your likeability:
1. Friendliness - your ability to communicate liking and openness to others.
2. Relevance - your capacity to connect with other's interests, wants and needs.
3. Empathy- your ability to recognise, acknowledge, and experience other people's feelings.
4. Authenticity- How real or solid is the person that stands behind your likeability.
By contrast with the surge of hormones during adolescence this measure is abandoned for status oriented popularity. Personal visibility, peer influence, dominance and personal power all morph to the key measures of adolescent popularity. In my experience status popularity is rife in many corporate cultures.
It was only after reading more on this did I experience my ah hah moment. For many years during my career I easily made friends at work and enjoyed at least one great enduring friendship from each of my jobs. However, as time went by it became more important to play “follow the leader”. While some leaders are worse than others it would seem, the some foster a culture of status popularity more than others. To that end I found myself emulating the status culture, and as a close relative observed “you act so much like a man now!” Ouch too much aggression, and grandstanding! As embarrassing as this is, herd theory explains to it extremely difficult to withstand group behaviour.
Today many of us struggle with developing and maintaining our personal popularity or status in the workplace. Consider how reflecting on your personal popularity style and engaging in increased socialising will grow your likability and personal success.
Socialising is a great way to constantly evolve who you are and where you would like to go with the added benefit of experiencing likeability in other people. Interest based events are a great low stress way to meet your like minded and make new friends.